These little words.

"Hey, how are you?"
"Good and you?"
"Yeah good aye"
"Can I talk to you, I mean- seriously talk- I have something I need to say, you're not going to like it, but I need to say it, you need to hear it... it's honest- so all I ask is that you don't judge what I have to say, that you listen to everything... and promise me this won't ruin our friendship. This has taken all the courage in the world, and I'm so afraid it's going to fuck things up... I can't keep this inside anymore...."
"Okaay? go ahead"
"I love you... more than a "brother" ... I'm in love with you. I have been for months, nearly a year now. I was there for you through everything, I'll always be there for you. I watched you go from loving her, to fucking her, to loving her again, to losing her, to loving another, and all the while I sat back and watched, listened to your stories, about their perfection & their flaws. I sat back. I listened, I conforted you- while inside I was screaming. "LOOK AT ME GOD DAMN IT! LOOK!"- but you never looked, you never saw, you never noticed. I was there for you through everything, and then I found out how little i meant to you- and yeah, it hurt me a lot. But i never said anything, maybe I did- never seriously though , only in a joking way- but you never picked up the truth behind it.
the honest truth is, what I'm trying to say is that I'll do anything, I'll sit there in pain as long as you're happy, if you would just give me a chance to make you happy. I'd do everything. I'd do anything. I've never felt this way before, I wish I could let you go.... but I can't. I've tried- tried to be mad at you so I can't talk to you, but you have a way of keeping me happy. I know you're with her, I know she makes you happy- but please, please give me a chance...
I love you . with all that I am.... please, tell me you love me back...."

I wish you could see this, and know it's about you- I wish you would read it, and come running up to me. telling me you feel exactly the same,  i wish i had the courage to have this conversation. 
I wish i wasn't in love.