That hurt a little more than it should have.

Tonight, a girl I work with said to me about the boy I love "god, him and his girlfriend are so cute hey?"
I responded with "Fucks me, I never see them"
"yeah... but he just seems so happy"
"yeah.."
God, I can't even explain how that felt- it hurt so much, I couldn't fucking breathe- I wanted to cry, I'm happy he's happy. of course- but why her ?
She talked about him a lot tonight, like- all the stuff they talk about and shit.
I got hurt by that too, I thought he and i were the only ones like that, it was my special friendship, and it took me so long to get that- she's been there, what ? a month?
and he's developed probably a a stronger friendship with her in that time- he's told her stuff already, that it took me so fucking long to hear.
Why don't people like me?
Whats wrong with me?
why do people replace me so easily?
why am i not good enough for anyone?
I feel terrible, I want to cry- i want someone to want me. I want a real friend, someone i can turn to when I'm hurting, please god-
send me a special friend, just for me, just one special friend, that won't leave me, that won't replace me, that won't hurt me over and over....
thats all i want.