Saturday, October 30, 2010

The same.

I heard the wind call my name today.
I followed the voices in my head,
and I felt free for a moment. together we breathed the same air.
stood under the same moon.
walked on the same earth.
it's funny though.
How I don't even know you.

Not.

In perfection we stand, listening to the lies of the honest, and the truths of the liars.
are we afraid of dreaming, or afraid of reality?
are breathing or are we screaming?
The answer isn't who we are, or what we want,
it doesn't pull us away from everything we have ever needed.
it's not life nor death that makes us shut down or open up.
It's not me, it's not you.
It's just not.

Rain.

we're dripping like rain drops, they fall from the sky so graciously we don't think about how it feels to hit the pavement.
I breathed you in last night, and tonight we pretended to be children again. The moments spent with you pull me deeper under the surface, and as we part I realize I was only falling. Only drifting.
and like rain, when you're gone, I remember I'm about too hit the pavement.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Smile

when I speak a word with you,
I know how alive I become.
I feel happiness in my heart when your name comes up.
what a shame it only happens once in a while.

Monday, October 25, 2010

bruises

In a way I am glad I have dark skin.
I bruise easily.
you just can't see it.
I can't stop thinking about him. He is always in my head and it is more painful than happy feelings. I just want him to want me.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

if...

I keep asking myself,
if i was prettier,
skinnier,
smarter,
older...
would you want me then?
Every second with you makes me want you more.
I want you so fucking much.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

You are disgusting.

People are disgusting,
They use you, hurt you, leave you.
It's a never ending fucking cycle and I'm already over it.
Why do we have to live like this.
calling people your friends, when they just fuck off anyway?
when they don't give a shit that they are leaving you hurt, because they only care about themselves?
and you! yeah you! you are one of the most self centered, bitchy, cruel, heartless, mean, hurting people that I've ever met in my life and I fucking HATE YOU!!!!!!
How can you not care about the people you say you love? the people you call your bestfriends? How can you not give a fuck, how can you be so fucking heartless!?
I would not ever treat people the way you do, hurt people, not care about people the way you do.
You're disgusting and I just want you to fucking leave.
I hate you.
LEAVE!!!!!!!!

Don't care anymore.

I turned to you,
and called out your name.
"You just broke the glass"
you didn't even turn back-
instead you whispered that you didn't care anymore.

Hope.

I can see where you're hiding.
And it's no longer a secret.
I stumbled across the depths of an empty ocean,
waiting for nothing to emerge,
but expecting something like a tidal wave- to sweep me off my feet, fly me away.
Even when I knew there was nothing,
I still hoped for something.
I guess that's what keeps us going, is hoping,
even when we know there is no reason to hope.

In The Shadows.

So desperation takes over,
and we're living in the shadows of someone better, someone stronger, someone skinnier.
We fear light, and darkness until we become afraid of everything.
We paddle up-stream for the help,
and when we're in love- let the water take us down.
But either way we're living in the shadows.
Behind the truth... there is people like me.
there is people like you.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Drowned.

You're like raindrops.
you fall from the sky and seep into peoples shoes,
soak them, in a way you drown them..
You've drowned me.

fight, win.

You fought with your hands behind your back.
not tied, but chained.
You fought the world with your hands chained behind your back.
And the most amazing part is;
you won.

Broken Glass

We smiled at the sun, and disappeared underwater.
Your beauty elapsed and together we held, strong and fearless.
You breathed with me, and we treaded water for years.
Well I suppose,
It's better than walking on broken glass.

About A Boy.

I've moved on from writing about life, to writing about a boy.
A stupid boy.
Read the last few pages.
They're so much more freaking meaningful.

Define Beauty.

Define beauty..
Beauty is the sun that looms under the earth and heats it from the outside in.
Beauty is not what we have heard, nor what we know.
You're beauty..
But I'm not.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Have you

I've never wanted anything so badly.
but I can't simply save my money,
or put it into a savings account.
You're what I want the most,
and there is no way I can have you.

four years.

You crawled your way into my life, you didn't even mean to.
But I'll tell you one thing.
I didn't want you from the start.
is four years too much?
I don't want it to be.
because i think.
I think i need you.

you.

you make me live in a world that is not my own.
it belongs to you now.
But my world however, belongs to no-one of the sort.
my world, your world.
our world.
give me your world, and I swear I'll take care of it.
I will take care of you.

Monday, October 4, 2010

where did it go?

You see it when you shine a light into the night sky,
or when you lose someone you love.
You feel it when you're lonely, hurt..
You know it.
That somehow, somewhere, the lightness always gets lost in the dark.

Friday, October 1, 2010