I'm going to sleep now. its going to be a long few days.
i have to work with him for three hours tomorrow.
then i've decided to go to this party after work, even though i have to work the next day.
i'm going to be so tired.
but you know what? i want to get so fucking drunk. i want to .. die.
that word just came to my head. is that bad? i think thats bad.
then
i only see him for one hour on saturday.
then not at all sunday.
then.
i don't know about the rest of the week. probably not much, especially outside of work because he's got something better and amazing and perfect lol.
and he doesn't want me.
i feel like shit again
.
i'm going to have shitty fucking nightmares.
no.
i'm going to have a perfect dream and wake up crying because it isnt real.
im getting away from this world for a while, if its the only way.
goodnight. i dont want to wake up.