I deleted every single message on my phone last night. every single one.
Tonight, I missed a call from him. not on purpose though. that pissed me off, that i missed it unknowlingly, that i couldn't sit there and be proud that i was strong enough to resist it. I missed it by accident.
ugh. and he only tried once, didn't leave a message didn't send a text, shows how fucking much i matter. god. i'm so angry, why can't he just ... go ?

but i don't want him to go, i want him very much to stay.
stay with me?
i still can't stop thinking about them together, how wrong they are for each other.
i want all this to end. fuck
.
it all needs to fucking end.