Sometimes, you get those.. epiphany, when you realize how truly lucky you are, and how sad you've been over the silliest things. you figure out that you could just be happy, instead of being scared about when it's over, like.. being sad because he doesn't feel the same way and when you're together, that time will end. you just kind of get, that you should just be happy with the time you've got with him now. He makes you happy being with him right? so be happy with him. don't worry about later, or after, or the fact that he isn't feeling the same way. he makes you happy. so be happy. be in the moment. because that's what matters the most. the happiness right now. You realize how stupidly upset you are over the fact that a boy doesn't like you... how much pain you've been causing yourself, and blaming it on him. is it really his fault that he doesn't feel the same?
this is what comes to my mind, every day for about five seconds.
but then i remind myself that it still hurts.
but, i've decided. here on in.. i'm going to try so hard to fix this. this pain. I'm going to find the good in everything. even in the fact that he doesn't like me. everyday, I'm going to try and write on here, or somewhere else. something to do with him. and why I'm grateful it happened or didn't happen.
maybe it will make me appreciate what I do have of him.
rather than what I don't.
I love you. AJP.