he picked me up, I was worried because it was getting late, I was starting to get sad, but then. of course, as soon as I saw him. I lightened up, he made me laugh as usual. we drove down to his house, and played games and watched a movie. He put his legs up over mine, like, on the couch.. so he was kind of lying accross me if that makes sense, whilst i was sitting. by the end of the movie, he fell asleep, leaning on me. I watched him, he was twitching, he seemed so sad, or worried, i just wanted to help him, hold him in my arms, I wanted him. I just wanted to hold him, so much. after about an hour of me not moving. i didnt want to wake him, in all that, he looked peacefull i suppose, still beautiful. innocent, untouched, naive... no act. just him, beautiful.
- my legs started going numb, so i woke him up so i could move. then i went and layed down on the other couch. he woke me up and two or so in the morning and told me to go to bed, so i did. a seperate one of course in another room. i was half asleep, but i wanted him to stay.
in the morning he came out when i was on the couch, sat next to me and rested his head on me a few times. he seemed so sad. i wanted to make him happy. then, before we left. i asked for a hug.
it was a beautiful hug, it lasted 30 or so seconds. just. him, and me. i felt so complete .
then he let go, then... i felt empty.
as usual he made me laugh and stuff throughout the night at work. when he dropped me off he asked if i was okay because i was upset with ma. and blabaslblalalla. i asked him for another hug, he got out of the car and just. i feel so fucking happy when i'm with him. when he hugs me its like the whole world, its like everything in my arms.
I wish he understood. i wish even more that he felt the same. i just want these feelings to be returned, or to end. because the pain i feel when i let go, its so... it burns. it hurts so much.