It's been too long.

I haven't heard from you in days. How could it be that i have not crossed your mind once, when haven't stopped crossing mine?

500 days of summer.

I just watched this movie, I wanted to cry. It's relativeness doesn't come straight back to my situation. But i guess it delievered a message. It doesn't matter how bad things feel at the time. they get better, there's always someone else.
even though it hurts.
i guess i just... i guess I should just move on.

Six feet under.

And once again, the sky grew down, pulling the entire world down on top of it. The tree's planted themselves firmly in the clouds, and waited for the tide to go down, waited for the world to galaxy to subside. So, as I walked away and watched your face, I realized what I had been hiding from the world.. It didn't matter, none of it did. Not that I wasn't beautiful, or skinny or smart! Not that no one wanted me... none of it mattered. My pain was useless. It's not like I was significant to the world, I made no difference, and nor did the way you made me feel. Uselessness was no answer, but neither were you. you were the whole world on my shoulders, you weighed me down, but someone you gave me a sense of strength. Nothing in the universe could pull me down, except you.. who also had the power to make me happier than I'd ever been.... and with that, you had the power also, to pull me six feet under.
and unfortunately.
Thats exactly what you did. 

The fear is worse than the pain.

One of his friends mentioned Brisbane in october. Not even mentioned, I don't even know what it's about, but I assume he means going there. what if he goes and finds a better girl? what if he goes and doesn't want to come back? what if I lose him ? he's not even mine to lose. but what if I lose him ? I want to stop feeling so shitty. I want to be the one to leave, if anyone goes. I want to be the one to make the first decision.

I can't find a reason for anything anymore.

I fell asleep, and he sent me a text later. at 10/53. yay. thats just raised my bedtime once again .
i didn't reply, but i replied thismorning. maybe i shouldn't have? maybe i should have just left it?
what if he doesn't reply to mine, he's just going to.. and i'll get disapointed and.
I'm scared.

Life was easier without you.

But now I've met you, you're here. you're with me, in a way. and I won't ever be the same.