I'm a last resort to him, an option. for when he is lonely, or no one else is available, i don't think he understand how much that hurts. how much everything hurts. all the time. i'm so stressed, and i can't respond to it well, at all, any time something tiny or remotely stressfull happens i break down. i nearly cry, i punch things, i punch myself... all of this for the tiniest of things. i feel so empty. i just need him to hug me so i feel better, because i just don't know how to feel normal again. i want to die because i can't find reason any more. i'm so tired. i just want to go home .
and it just goes to show, that you need me less than I need you.