Okay, so first of all what I'm going to say is don't take this, i'm not going to kill myself, i'm not going to even go there. don't worry, if you read this.
i just want to explain that i can understand how people kill themselves, i've never thought about it the way i do now. the only thing i could think was how could someone do that? hurt their families and friends and not even care, it's all a scam, a test...
but not now, i don't see that anymore. i understand now, how one can feel so horrible, so in pain, in just one second... just a matter of time, a few minutes of pain so screechingly painful, that it's just enough to take a gun and put it to your head or take a blade to your wrist.
I understand now, how a person can feel so horribly in pain, so empty, so alone, so already dead.
to take that one fucking step and end everything.