I don't know what to do anymore..

I love him. when I don't see him, I;m okay... well kind of, I don't hurt, I don't think about it so  much, i force it into the back of my mind and pretend like it isn't there. but when, when you are here.. you're all I think about, I can't help it, I can't push it away. you come into my life and you talk about her, all the sweet stuff you do. all the.. everything. and I can't breathe and I want to cry. and I want you to grab me and either hold me and say you love me, or just kill me. because you are, you're killing me so slowly. I don't know what to do anymore . I don't want to try... I can't do it for much longer. I need to get away.
forever.