FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUUUCK!!! what do I do ? oh god! the idea for that month without him was supposed to be the time i let him go. but no. i saw him last week, and was like. fuck. so i started again! and i saw him today. and he hugged me. so tightly. god i wanted to cry. i tried to hide from him at work. i didnt want to see him. but even though he wasnt working he came to find me, and heald me. i wanted him. so badly. i :( oh god i was doing so well. until i saw him. his smile. his jokes. it doesnt matter, what he does he makes me happy. he made me so happy. but then he left. i didnt want him to leave. but he left. to go have dinner with her. I HATE HER!!!!!! oh ... god. it hurt. and i couldnt help myself. after he left.. i... i did something, stupid. fucking stupid. it didnt stop the pain! nothing can stop me from hurting when it comes to him.
SOMEONE PLEASE PPLEASE TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!! i cant do this anymore. i just cant.