Thursday, November 4, 2010

I know it makes no sense.

I stand empty above this hill, staring down into the dark empty depths that I now call myself, haggard and broken; horrific to look at, dark and closed off from everything I ever was, from everyone I ever loved. Only horrid because of emptiness, staring into black worlds of nothingness horrifies me, frightens me.
I stare form behind the vale and I watch how you lie, how you run from me, how you run away from my emptiness and pain rather than staying to fill me with life and numb my pain for a while.
Your light lingers above me, breathing in and out, as you do. You as your own light as your own world.
Jaggered around the edges, sharp and blunt at the same time, painful smiles and joking cries for help.
When hiding is no longer a game, creeping up behind me with my eyes shut staring into my face, I refuse to fight for the nothing you give me I refuse to fight for the fear of living and the fear of death. I refuse to live for the fear of dying and refuse to live for the fear of everything that you give me.

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